I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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