I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
