Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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