So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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