i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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