Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
