Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
