remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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