I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
