no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
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Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My vagina just clenched in fear
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