marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
