i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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