i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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