Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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