direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
