awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
