twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
