"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
where am i from again
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize