we should wear snuggies to the strip club
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
