Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
