yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
