I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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