What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
