if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
