I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
