The maid of honor just puked.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
