and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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