Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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