i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
