Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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