"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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