he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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