i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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