i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
