I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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