Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
