capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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