Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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