I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
