i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
