I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
