fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
