And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
