We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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