kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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