I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
