so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
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Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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