i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
