Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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