i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
