I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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