we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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