come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
