he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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