there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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