This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
