do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just pee around me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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