my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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