i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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