You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
