Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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