Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
