alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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