I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
