just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
