what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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